Feb
12
Silent Witness
Tags: bystander intervention
Filed Under Uncategorized | By Jeremy Lomax
I’m a UT student and I live in an area called West Campus. The majority of college parties are thrown in this area, so it’s known for being rather boisterous at night, especially on the weekends. My room has large windows that face the street, so I can always hear anything going on outside.
Two weeks ago I was awoken by an argument outside at 4 a.m. Instead of going back to sleep, I curiously peered out the window and watched as a couple argued beside a running pick-up truck. A girl was sitting on the ground with her back turned to a guy who was standing up and yelling at her.
After watching for a couple of minutes and debating whether or not to intervene, I saw the guy kick the girl’s purse, which was sitting right beside her, into the street. That was all I needed to motivate me to start getting dressed to head outside. However, before I had put on my shoes, I heard the pick-up truck squeal away and saw the girl’s friends comforting her as they walked away.
The next day, when I told my friends about the incident, they told me I should never have decided to intervene. “It’s not like he hit her or anything, so it isn’t any of your business.†This common response struck a chord with me. It’s not your business. But why not?
As humans, we love to take the path of least resistance. I’ve been in situations before where I’ve seen something and wondered if I should intervene. The majority of the time I don’t and I usually regret it. So what if the guy didn’t actually hit her? Is that what it takes to justify getting involved?
I’m not saying this girl needed my help or that she couldn’t speak for herself. From what I heard, she seemed to do a pretty good job of telling the guy off. However, sending her purse flying into the street seemed extremely threatening and really raised a red flag for me. Ironically, it wasn’t the fight that really unnerved me; it was my friends’ responses. Their thoughts on the subject emphasized a common message in our society – that personal disputes are just that: personal.
It’s hard to know what to do in this situation. On the one hand, we want to make sure everything is ok, and that the argument doesn’t escalate to physical violence. But on the other hand, we don’t want to put the person with less power in a compromising situation.   They may shut down and do whatever it takes to deescalate the situation – even if that means giving up and defending the other person.
I suppose it varies from situation to situation, but we shouldn’t view intervention as an option that is only acceptable after punches are thrown. Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away and if we have the opportunity to make a difference we should take it, regardless of what others will think. After all, that small action could mean a great deal to the person it helps.
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Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away and if we have the opportunity to make a difference we should take it, regardless of what others will think.
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Those of us who do “intervene” often find that no good deed goes unpunished.
I often wonder about Rachel Pendray, the student at Sam Houston State who had been stalked and then murdered by a young man who had become “obsessed” with her.
How many other students knew there was a problem and felt it was none of their business?
Breaking the cycle of abuse in some ways means breaking the cycle of apathy on the part of the “bystanders” who sometimes can make a difference by intervening.