In fact there’s a lot that makes me angry enough to scream, throw the closest object I can get my hands on or want to punch a hole in the nearest wall.  But I’ve learned the last one hurts longer than the satisfying release of emotion it brings, so after enough pain (physical and emotional)  and cleaning up the messes (of all sorts) afterwards, I found I could use some of that same energy to write whatever and however I want. (I save that for a journal mostly, not the blog.) Physical and emotional release and no crap to clean up.  Eureka!

And that works most of the time.  But when I read about some of the stupid cards (and more than a few fit that classification) available on the Etsy website, my first reaction was to literally shout obscenities. (I was alone thankfully and didn’t have to monitor my mouth at work.)

You may have heard about them.  If not, wonderful. At this point, I’ll just say that one is titled, “Congratulations. You got bad touched!”  The person selling the card chooses to be identified as “youstupidbitch” (not a bad choice I think) and includes this pitch to grab buyers: “Get creeped on, go through a heavy pat down at the airport, go through a colonoscopy and embarrassed? Know someone that has? Then this card could be for them.”

Not a word about sexual assault.  But the graphic is a drawing of a naked woman huddled in a shower.  Maybe it’s just survivors and those who work in the sexual assault field who would see the graphic and think “sexual assault.”  Don’t know.

After my initial reaction I thought, “We (TAASA) need to draw attention to this stuff. It’s just wrong, hurtful, disgusting, on and on.   We can put it on Facebook.  Get people to mount a campaign to stop it from being sold.”  I’d seen others taking action on the issue.

Then came the question I often ask after my initial gut reaction to something I find offensive or outright hurtful.  Is drawing more attention to (fill in the blank with latest issue) the best action here?  Or will that serve to increase attention and sales? Is this an issue or policy or trend where we advocate for change?   Not simple questions to answer.

Of course getting more information helps make the decision, but usually isn’t my first response.  Thank you to Narissa Johnson for a tweet leading to more questions about the whole card drama.

You can draw your own conclusions from those bits of info.  I thought “Wow, only four cards sold.” Thankfully, I am surprised. I wonder about the total of views. Maybe most of them were sexual assault advocates/activists checking out the offensive cards. I do know if I were the seller, I probably wouldn’t put any more effort into similar cards.

If you decide that taking action to remove the card from the Etsy site is the best choice, you can sign a petition at  If you decide to contact the seller (who says s/he has received several thousand angry emails about the card), you can add to the list, though it looks like appeals other than anger may have a more beneficial effect.

Personally, I’m choosing to not take action—other than raising questions to you.  I welcome your responses and decisions.



One Response to “Some s**t just makes me angry!”

  1. Jeremy on January 6th, 2011 11:52 AM

    My thoughts..

    When we don’t “take action” to speak out against issues that perpetuate behaviors supportive of sexaul assault we’re being complicit. While negative attention is still attention; doing nothing is adhering to the concept that this behavior is acceptable. I believe we’ve got to make it known in the societal realm that we’re not going to allow people who do heinous sh** such as this be considered a “norm”. I do believe a non-angered approach is probably the best strategy to be effective, because our initial responses (p***ed off) will probably not be ignored & also maybe irrational (I know sometimes mine are)! You’ve taken positive action by posting this blog, Linda! I think whatever action we do decide to take has to be positive, but we must do something. Thank you for posting this!!

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