Feb
9
Looking for a few good saviors
Tags: gender socialization, masculinity, violence prevention
Filed Under Prevention | By Tim Love | 3 Comments
There are a lot of discussions and disagreements on the best way to bring more men into the movement to end men’s violence against women, children and other men. While I believe that it will take a number of different approaches and strategies to accomplish this, there is one approach that I’ve seen now in a few articles and heard in several conversations that troubles me.
Some people have suggested that we can bring men into the movement as bystanders who can intervene in violence by playing into the traditionally masculine roles of savior and protector. I believe that this approach can be dangerous and runs counter to our long-term goals to end violence.
To be fair, most strong proponents of this approach acknowledge that once men are engaged, they must be challenged to begin understanding the power and privilege, and therefore oppression, injustice and violence, that traditional masculinity is built upon. However, suggesting that we can bring men into the movement by appealing to their traditionally defined sense of masculinity is unfair and dangerous for all women, and particularly for our female colleagues within the movement.
Men brought into the work with this approach are likely to hold beliefs about male superiority and entitlement that often lead to negative interactions with women they work with. These interactions might range from men assuming and demanding leadership roles to continuing to demean and minimize the contributions and leadership of women and even to committing various forms of violence – be it emotional, physical or sexual.
Additionally, if we truly believe, as I do, that a vast majority, if not all the violence in our society is preventable, and that replacing some of our current norms with those based on equity is the only way to achieve this goal, then inviting people who are encouraged to hold onto and embrace the very attitudes and beliefs we hope to replace seems self-defeating.
In the long-term, if people don’t challenge sexism, male superiority and male entitlement, we will continue to have the same level of violent acts. A man who is brought in to intervene in acts of violence without ever being asked to recognize, understand and interrupt sexism and male privilege is not likely to intervene when norms supportive of sexual violence are expressed or acted upon. They may act to interrupt an attempted rape (which is important), but they are unlikely to intervene when they hear a sexist joke or when there is gender discrimination going on at work.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on engaging men in the movement and how we can accomplish that goal without jeopardizing our long-term success.
Feb
3
Speaking out
Tags: Capitol Day, sexual assault
Filed Under Guest Post | By Leandra Krueger | Leave a Comment
I will be one of the survivors speaking at Capitol Day, co-sponsored by TCFV and TAASA, in Austin on Feb. 14, 2011.
For those of you who don’t know, Feb. 14 is the day that I was drugged and sexually assaulted by my OB/GYN. Ironically that is the day of the Capitol Walk/Rally and the day that I will take my story statewide. After the walk, I will speak at the press conference on the Capitol steps. This day will be such an empowering day for me!
First… because on this day I will be five years post-assault! It’s a milestone in my healing journey! I cannot believe how far I have come! I look back at who I was only a few years ago, and the only word that comes to mind is “Wow.”
Second…I still deal with “triggers” post-assault, and one of them is Valentine decorations. I can’t stand the sight of them. This past Valentine’s Day was the first year I shopped for my hubby and kiddos without crying or leaving the store.
Participants in Capitol Day always carry poster board signs: heart-shaped Valentines decorated with quotes such as “Help mend broken hearts” or “Violence breaks hearts.”
Here is the sign I made to carry this Valentine’s Day.
My passion is a commitment and focus on people that have been traumatized by abuse. I hope by speaking out I encourage others to do the same. After all, our silence is the perpetrator’s power to continue to commit crimes and harm others unimpeded.  I hope to be a voice for those who have been silenced by abuse! This journey has been rough, but God has used it and brought me to a beautiful place. Rom. 8:28