Oct

29

Listen up! Christopher says it does matter.

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Filed Under Vlog | By Linda Hunter | 1 Comment

Christopher Watson, a friend of mine and a longtime TAASA supporter/former board member, spoke out recently about how dumb it is to put down male athletic teams by saying they do something “like a girl.”  We all know it’s just joking, friendly ribbing, right?  So does it matter?  Listen to what Christopher has to say, then let us know whether you agree — or not.

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Oct

22

Golf – Man’s Last Stand

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Filed Under Uncategorized | By Tim Love | Leave a Comment

Please take a moment to listen to this commentary from sports analyst and commentator, Frank Deford. About one minute and 35 seconds in, he ponders if the American male being ”rendered extraneous” is the cause of golf’s downward spiral. He asks, “How can sensitive modern dads disappear for hours on the links when they have to change diapers, carpool to ballet class and spend their down time getting in touch with their feminine side?”  My first thought? Wow, I didn’t realize I’m being rendered obsolete. Whatever will I do?

And then I recalled recent advertisements that have been trying to warn me of my impending doom. There is the car ad title “Man’s Last Stand” and the Dockers ads imploring men to “wear the pants.” How could I not have seen? All of this feminism running rampant and this reverse sexism are robbing me of my very masculinity – Americans’ lack of dominance in golf is just the tip of the iceberg.

How dare I be expected to be an equal partner in parenting? I only have daughters, so I shouldn’t have to parent at all really – they just need their mother. And how can I be expected to take them to ballet class (or soccer, or football or any other sport they might play in this crazy genderless society)?  I’m just a dad. And what is all this about getting in touch with my feminine side – does that mean I have to say “I love you” to my family and friends and acknowledge that I have emotions other than anger and actually, like, talk to people in a meaningful way? Icky.

Oh wait, that’s right, I forgot, I think that this concept of the impending death of the American male is, well, how to put it nicely, seriously flawed. We still live in a seriously patriarchal society, last time I checked. Women still make less money than men for the same job, men still have a stranglehold on the positions of power in our society (ranging from business to politics to the military) and sexual violence is still being perpetrated primarily by men at extraordinarily high rates against primarily women and children, and that is the tip of the patriarchal iceberg. Poor men, poor us. If the current efforts to create equity across the spectrum of gender (and race, class, age, ability status, etc.) are successful, what will we do if we can’t continue to enjoy the perks of our privilege?

My coworker, Morgan, put it best when we were talking about this issue a few weeks ago. She noted that people in positions of power begin to get uneasy and complain about being left out or marginalized as soon as there is a credible threat to the belief patterns and institutional structures that bestow their privilege upon them. The only way the American man will become obsolete as a result of a steady, but slow march towards equity is if he refuses to change and continues to fight to maintain his privilege. The way it is now, society is not working for women and children, nor is it really working for men.

What are your thoughts on the commentary, the ads and/or the idea that the American man is “being rendered obsolete?”

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Oct

18

Speaking out about legal advocacy

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Filed Under Vlog | By Linda Hunter | Leave a Comment

Advocates from across Texas gathered this summer to get a comprehensive look at legal issues they and survivors might face after a sexual assault. During each two-day training (led by Chris Kaiser, TAASA staff attorney) advocates joined in lively discussions, asking questions about practical issues from their own communities and planning how they might use the new information they’d learned to better assist sexual assault survivors.

Following the last training in South Padre, Oralia Juare (Harlingen-Family Crisis Center) and Graziela Villegas (Pasadena-Bridge Over Troubled Waters) volunteered to share some of their responses on camera.

Check out the video to hear what they had to say!

Whether or not you attended one of these trainings, if there’s something you’d like to ask or share about legal advocacy, let us hear from you in the comment section.

(Trainings were co-hosted by TAASA and local rape crisis centers: San Antonio-Rape Crisis Center, Tyler-East Texas Crisis Center, Abilene-Regional Crime Victim Crisis Center, South Padre Island-Family Crisis Center.)

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Oct

4

Dude Looks Like a Latte

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Filed Under Uncategorized | By Morgan J Curtis | 2 Comments

Ok, this is either going to get strange looks, awkward giggles or get my feminist card revoked, but I have to share a funny story about gender socialization. (Yes, I mean exactly what I said.)

I’m known as a lover of fine coffee and funky coffee shops. In fact, I spend entirely too much time drinking coffee, talking about coffee and just generally being around coffee. I was working from a coffee shop the other day when the barista yelled out “latte on the bar!” A big dude strolled around the corner to fetch his latte and then went to grab a seat. Much to my surprise, this voice popped into my head and said “dude, don’t you know that’s a GIRL’S  drink?!” Honestly, I didn’t actually have a thought that was quite so articulate, but I did balk when the guy picked up the latte. As I sat there and thought about why, I realized that I usually look at men strangely when they order lattes and that I do consider them to be girly drinks (even if they don’t have some sugary flavored syrup added to them).

I can’t explain why I think this. No one ever said the words, “lattes are for girls” to me nor do I recall serving lattes predominantly to women when I worked at a coffee shop. So, where did I get this idea? Somehow the idea was formed through a series of impressions that clearly didn’t have a conscious impact. This is a small example of how our ideas about gender are covertly formed and often acted upon without question – until one day when we realize, much to our own surprise, that we have some silly notion in our head about which drinks are for men and which are for women.

Do you have any example of little things you’ve noticed about gender socialization that have surprised you? (It’s okay to share… none of us are immune to the internalization of these messages. I promise I won’t revoke your feminist, humanist or activist card if you share your story!)

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