Aug
31
The Chicken or the Egg
Tags: attitude, change, prevention
Filed Under Uncategorized | By Tim Love | 2 Comments
I’ve had this thought rolling around in my head (kind of like a song you just can’t stop singing to yourself) ever since our prevention institute. I’ve been wondering what comes first in primary prevention – is it the chicken or the egg.
Do people change their behavior only after they change their attitudes, or is it possible that behavior change might lead to attitude change over time? And wouldn’t we rather have people change their behavior because they believed it was the right thing to do rather than because we taught them how to behave?
Attitude change takes time. I, for example, have 36 years of messages and expectations to unlearn. That is probably not going to happen, not totally, in three months of programming once a week. If we want to begin to make an impact, waiting for that type of total attitude change becomes a barrier. In addition, attitude change alone will not necessarily lead to behavior change. Part of our prevention work is giving folks the skills to put their new attitudes into action. We can’t assume that people will act just because they know why they should, especially if they don’t have the skills to act. On the other hand, attitude change is necessary if we want people to maintain the changes in behavior they make.
Then there’s behavior change. We could just focus on teaching people how to act right and not worry about their attitudes. However, I think this approach will also fall short of long-term change. When we think about parenting, we talk about getting our youth to internalize our lessons. In other words, my daughters will not likely treat people with respect when they get older if they don’t actually respect different people. While they are around me, they may behave in a respectful manner because they know that is what I expect, or because they know there will be a consequence if they don’t, but do they really respect other people? On the other hand, it may be the case that other children who see my daughters acting respectfully toward everyone may change their attitudes and then their behaviors because of my daughters’ behaviors, regardless of my daughters’ reasons for behaving that way.
Remembering that primary prevention is a long-term venture, I think that we should carefully balance and integrate both approaches. We must constantly work to change the attitudes and beliefs that create a rape culture while also teaching the behaviors and skills we are hoping that folks will take on as their own.
What do you think? Can behavior change alone end sexual violence? What about attitude change – how important is that for lasting change?
Aug
26
Hearing things we don’t want to hear…
Filed Under Uncategorized | By Morgan J Curtis | 2 Comments
Part of both prevention and outreach work involves starting conversations with folks about the issues that are relevant to sexual violence. Oftentimes, we are tempted to water down our message, equivocate, employ euphemisms, anything not to turn someone off before we have a chance to explain our side, to bring them over to our cause. At TAASA, we’ve been trying to share more resources and start more conversations on the blog and our Facebook page. Thes
e means are much more interactive than even email, as people can see each other’s comments (however brief) and engage in a conversation about their thoughts and feelings about whatever we’ve posted.
When I had my own blog, I know I often found it difficult to deal with people who would respond to my posts in ways that I read as excessively negative, hostile or just plain disagreeing with me. Occasionally, those things were offensive. I have to admit, my temptation was always to hit the “delete comment†button so that I neither had to see nor respond to the comment. Of course, I didn’t really want my other readers to see the comment either. Sometimes I was scared to respond, even if I truly believed that I was correct and thought I could argue my point soundly. I don’t like confrontation. Period. However, at one point, I wondered what I was writing for if I was only going to ignore anyone who might not agree with me – who might be trying to engage me in dialogue about my beliefs. (Of course, some did this more constructively than others, and there are times to pick our battles.)
Rather than being a burden, this really should be seen as the opportunity we are seeking when we put our ideas or opinions out there. This is especially true in terms of sexual assault education and/or prevention. It can be difficult to engage in these discussions. They often become heated. We open ourselves up to criticism, and when it’s not in person, it’s all too easy to think about hitting “delete†to hide the negative or offensive comments from ourselves and our other readers.
To a certain extent, we have an obligation to address people’s concerns or thoughts about what we are putting out in the world. Recently someone posted a comment on a social networking site about how she was against gay rights because she doesn’t understand gay people. It’s easy to bristle at comments like these, to shut down, to respond with “Well, maybe she doesn’t want to understand.†If we are serious about trying to make change, we can’t limit ourselves to only interacting with people who already share our beliefs. We need to be challenged and to rise to that challenge. We need to seek to understand the perspectives of people who don’t agree with us and, when appropriate, help them to understand our position.
If we want people to believe that sexual assault is wrong (or that sexism or racism is wrong) when they don’t already think so, then we have to open ourselves up to it. We have to open ourselves up to hearing them express why they don’t agree with us. And we have to lovingly explain our own side. This is the hard work, the work we want to run from… But without this dynamic tension, there can be no change.
Were there times when you’ve addressed someone’s negativity or bias either in person or in an online format? What did it take for you to decide to address it rather than ignore it?
Aug
23
Checked out your SHAC lately?
Tags: sexuality education, student health, youth
Filed Under Uncategorized | By Linda Hunter | Leave a Comment
Today is the first day of school in many districts, and I’m so excited! I’m going to be part of our local Student Health Advisory Council (SHAC). If I were you I’d be thinking, “Poor thing, her life must be mighty dull.†But I hope before I’m through you’ll decide to check out the SHAC in your local school district. See if one even exists. (By law, school districts have to have one.) And if it does, is it a living, breathing, working bunch of people or a rubber stamp for someone who tells them what to do?
Uh, at least I think I’m going to be accepted. Saturday night I met our new school superintendent at a local community event. Right away, she seemed like an approachable person, didn’t have that “I’m the Superintendent and you may kiss my ring†demeanor. I’ve met a few like that, and I never talk with them unless I’ve had to for some reason. Usually I wanted a job in their school, so I kissed their ring and smiled admiringly, yet professionally.
Now some of you know I’ve worked in the sexual assault field for a hundred years (time does fly), so you may wonder what the big deal is about being part of a SHAC and what on earth it has to do with sexual assault.
Well, it didn’t mean a thing to me till Maggie Watson and I worked on “Just Say Yes…to Comprehensive Sex Education,” a TAASA newsletter article. (Shameless plug to those of you haven’t read it.) Being the curious, conscientious, we-need-help-and-information women we are, we read Just Say Don’t Know, one of Texas Freedom Network’s research reports, along with some other resources.
Oh good grief! (Those aren’t really the words I said, but I’m limited to what we can print.) I had a pretty good idea that responsible sex education in schools was either nonexistent or consisted of programs most thinking parents and teachers would throw a fit about if they knew what students were hearing.
How naive I was! It was much worse than I imagined even in my most critical moments: blatant misinformation, shaming, fear, biases and stereotypes based on gender and sexual orientation. (You’ll have to take a look at the report to judge for yourself.)
Both Maggie and I were shocked at what we learned, so working on the article together was one way to debrief! We found out that SHACs were first designed for parents and community members to give school boards and curriculum directors guidance on sexuality education in local districts, but now are also mandated to address the gamut of student health issues. So we said almost jokingly, “Hey, wonder if we could get on one of these councils? Maybe we could put our actions where are words are.â€
The superintendent’s list of recommended SHAC members will be presented to the school board in September for approval. I’ll keep you posted.
In the meantime, check out the Just Say Don’t Know report and see if your local school district is mentioned. There are a few promising practices noted; maybe your district is one of them. Just warning you, those odds are pretty slim. You could be among the majority. Let us know what you find out.
Aug
19
Prevention and Positive Parenting
Tags: parenting, primary prevention
Filed Under Uncategorized | By Tim Love | Leave a Comment
Earlier this month, we held our annual primary prevention institute – Sustaining Change. As part of my opening statements, I chose to talk about the definitions of “sustain†and “change.†One of the definitions of “sustain†– “to support the spirits, vitality, or resolution of; encourage†really struck a chord with me. It reminded me about the ways in which the approach I take to ending sexual violence is, and should be, reflected in other aspects of my life, including being a father.
One of the realities of violence in all its forms is that it diminishes us. It makes us focus on the unhealthy and bad within ourselves and others. It isolates us. It steals our joy, love and self confidence. One of the ways we can struggle against violence is to reach out to one another – to find ways to support each other and focus on what is good in people and communities. We can’t ignore the violence, but neither should we fix our focus on it, because if we do, we don’t make room for good and healthy things.
I believe that successful parenting depends on a similar approach. I have two daughters. I could spend my entire time as a parent focused on disciplining them when they do something that I see as wrong or bad – that would be easy and that is what I’ve been taught is my role as parent. The other choice my partner and I try to make is to focus instead on the positive, loving, courageous and change-creating behaviors my daughters exhibit. I try to encourage those behaviors when I see them, even if they aren’t supported by those around them. If, instead, discipline is all I do, I risk diminishing their confidence in making the difficult decision to do what is right.
What are the ways in which you encourage the youth in your life? How have you successfully focused and built on supporting the positive change already occurring in your community? Please share you experiences, or thoughts.