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This epidemic is hidden, literally behind bars.  Just Detention International (JDI) called rape and sexual abuse in detention an epidemic after the Department of Justice’s Bureau of Justice Statistics released results of the 2008-09 nationwide survey of inmates in federal and state prisons as well as county jails.

Statistic after statistic shows us a glimpse of rape and abuse in these facilities, but it’s the letters JDI receives every week from survivors of sexual abuse held in detention that make the epidemic personal.

“I would misbehave to get locked up [in solitary confinement] so I didn’t have to deal with it.” — Abused by an officer in Texas

“What do I do? Risk an attempt on my life and initiate an investigation, or keep quiet and endure?” — Silence and fear in Nevada

“I’ve come to accept that I am a victim and a survivor of abuse by corrections officers.  I totally accept the retaliation I will receive from government employees for speaking to you.” — Courage from undisclosed location

So what’s being done to stem the increasing victimization of women, men and youth who have no escape from their victimizers?

Or more to the point, what’s not being done?   JDI’s press release emphasizes the need for action now on standards detailed in the Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA):

For the past 14 months, the Justice Department has been reviewing proposed national standards aimed at eliminating sexual violence in detention, which were also mandated by PREA. These standards include limitations on cross-gender supervision. They also call for staff training and inmate education, the provision of medical and mental health treatment to sexual abuse victims, and regular independent, external audits to hold agencies accountable for failures to keep inmates safe from abuse. By law, Attorney General Eric Holder had until June 23, 2010 to ratify binding standards, but he missed this deadline and no new date has been set. Once the Attorney General issues final standards, they will be immediately binding on federal facilities. States and localities will have one year to get into compliance or risk losing five percent of their corrections-related federal funding.

So what’s the holdup?  Every day the epidemic increases—person by person by person, not statistic by statistic. I think it’s way past time to put these minimum safeguards into effect.  What about you?

I’ve had this thought rolling around in my head (kind of like a song you just can’t stop singing to yourself) ever since our prevention institute. I’ve been wondering what comes first in primary prevention – is it the chicken or the egg. Do people change their behavior only after they change their attitudes, or is it possible that behavior change might lead to attitude change over time? And wouldn’t we rather have people change their behavior because they believed it was the right thing to do rather than because we taught them how to behave?

Attitude change takes time. I, for example, have 36 years of messages and expectations to unlearn. That is probably not going to happen, not totally, in three months of programming once a week. If we want to begin to make an impact, waiting for that type of total attitude change becomes a barrier. In addition, attitude change alone will not necessarily lead to behavior change. Part of our prevention work is giving folks the skills to put their new attitudes into action. We can’t assume that people will act just because they know why they should, especially if they don’t have the skills to act. On the other hand, attitude change is necessary if we want people to maintain the changes in behavior they make.

Then there’s behavior change. We could just focus on teaching people how to act right and not worry about their attitudes. However, I think this approach will also fall short of long-term change. When we think about parenting, we talk about getting our youth to internalize our lessons. In other words, my daughters will not likely treat people with respect when they get older if they don’t actually respect different people. While they are around me, they may behave in a respectful manner because they know that is what I expect, or because they know there will be a consequence if they don’t, but do they really respect other people? On the other hand, it may be the case that other children who see my daughters acting respectfully toward everyone may change their attitudes and then their behaviors because of my daughters’ behaviors, regardless of my daughters’ reasons for behaving that way.

Remembering that primary prevention is a long-term venture, I think that we should carefully balance and integrate both approaches. We must constantly work to change the attitudes and beliefs that create a rape culture while also teaching the behaviors and skills we are hoping that folks will take on as their own.

What do you think? Can behavior change alone end sexual violence? What about attitude change – how important is that for lasting change?

Part of both prevention and outreach work involves starting conversations with folks about the issues that are relevant to sexual violence. Oftentimes, we are tempted to water down our message, equivocate, employ euphemisms, anything not to turn someone off before we have a chance to explain our side, to bring them over to our cause. At TAASA, we’ve been trying to share more resources and start more conversations on the blog and our Facebook page. These means are much more interactive than even email, as people can see each other’s comments (however brief) and engage in a conversation about their thoughts and feelings about whatever we’ve posted.

When I had my own blog, I know I often found it difficult to deal with people who would respond to my posts in ways that I read as excessively negative, hostile or just plain disagreeing with me. Occasionally, those things were offensive. I have to admit, my temptation was always to hit the “delete comment” button so that I neither had to see nor respond to the comment. Of course, I didn’t really want my other readers to see the comment either. Sometimes I was scared to respond, even if I truly believed that I was correct and thought I could argue my point soundly. I don’t like confrontation. Period. However, at one point, I wondered what I was writing for if I was only going to ignore anyone who might not agree with me – who might be trying to engage me in dialogue about my beliefs. (Of course, some did this more constructively than others, and there are times to pick our battles.)

Rather than being a burden, this really should be seen as the opportunity we are seeking when we put our ideas or opinions out there. This is especially true in terms of sexual assault education and/or prevention. It can be difficult to engage in these discussions. They often become heated. We open ourselves up to criticism, and when it’s not in person, it’s all too easy to think about hitting “delete” to hide the negative or offensive comments from ourselves and our other readers.

To a certain extent, we have an obligation to address people’s concerns or thoughts about what we are putting out in the world. Recently someone posted a comment on a social networking site about how she was against gay rights because she doesn’t understand gay people. It’s easy to bristle at comments like these, to shut down, to respond with “Well, maybe she doesn’t want to understand.” If we are serious about trying to make change, we can’t limit ourselves to only interacting with people who already share our beliefs. We need to be challenged and to rise to that challenge. We need to seek to understand the perspectives of people who don’t agree with us and, when appropriate, help them to understand our position.

If we want people to believe that sexual assault is wrong (or that sexism or racism is wrong) when they don’t already think so, then we have to open ourselves up to it. We have to open ourselves up to hearing them express why they don’t agree with us. And we have to lovingly explain our own side. This is the hard work, the work we want to run from… But without this dynamic tension, there can be no change.

Were there times when you’ve addressed someone’s negativity or bias either in person or in an online format? What did it take for you to decide to address it rather than ignore it?

Today is the first day of school in many districts, and I’m so excited! I’m going to be part of our local Student Health Advisory Council (SHAC). If I were you I’d be thinking, “Poor thing, her life must be mighty dull.” But I hope before I’m through you’ll decide to check out the SHAC in your local school district. See if one even exists. (By law, school districts have to have one.) And if it does, is it a living, breathing, working bunch of people or a rubber stamp for someone who tells them what to do?

Uh, at least I think I’m going to be accepted. Saturday night I met our new school superintendent at a local community event. Right away, she seemed like an approachable person, didn’t have that “I’m the Superintendent and you may kiss my ring” demeanor. I’ve met a few like that, and I never talk with them unless I’ve had to for some reason. Usually I wanted a job in their school, so I kissed their ring and smiled admiringly, yet professionally.

Now some of you know I’ve worked in the sexual assault field for a hundred years (time does fly), so you may wonder what the big deal is about being part of a SHAC and what on earth it has to do with sexual assault.

Well, it didn’t mean a thing to me till Maggie Watson and I worked on “Just Say Yes…to Comprehensive Sex Education,” a TAASA newsletter article. (Shameless plug to those of you haven’t read it.) Being the curious, conscientious, we-need-help-and-information women we are, we read Just Say Don’t Know, one of Texas Freedom Network’s research reports, along with some other resources.

Oh good grief! (Those aren’t really the words I said, but I’m limited to what we can print.) I had a pretty good idea that responsible sex education in schools was either nonexistent or consisted of programs most thinking parents and teachers would throw a fit about if they knew what students were hearing.

How naive I was! It was much worse than I imagined even in my most critical moments: blatant misinformation, shaming, fear, biases and stereotypes based on gender and sexual orientation. (You’ll have to take a look at the report to judge for yourself.)

Both Maggie and I were shocked at what we learned, so working on the article together was one way to debrief! We found out that SHACs were first designed for parents and community members to give school boards and curriculum directors guidance on sexuality education in local districts, but now are also mandated to address the gamut of student health issues. So we said almost jokingly, “Hey, wonder if we could get on one of these councils? Maybe we could put our actions where are words are.”

The superintendent’s list of recommended SHAC members will be presented to the school board in September for approval. I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime, check out the Just Say Don’t Know report and see if your local school district is mentioned. There are a few promising practices noted; maybe your district is one of them. Just warning you, those odds are pretty slim. You could be among the majority. Let us know what you find out.

Earlier this month, we held our annual primary prevention institute – Sustaining Change. As part of my opening statements, I chose to talk about the definitions of “sustain” and “change.” One of the definitions of “sustain” – “to support the spirits, vitality, or resolution of; encourage” really struck a chord with me. It reminded me about the ways in which the approach I take to ending sexual violence is, and should be, reflected in other aspects of my life, including being a father.

One of the realities of violence in all its forms is that it diminishes us. It makes us focus on the unhealthy and bad within ourselves and others. It isolates us. It steals our joy, love and self confidence. One of the ways we can struggle against violence is to reach out to one another – to find ways to support each other and focus on what is good in people and communities. We can’t ignore the violence, but neither should we fix our focus on it, because if we do, we don’t make room for good and healthy things.

I believe that successful parenting depends on a similar approach. I have two daughters. I could spend my entire time as a parent focused on disciplining them when they do something that I see as wrong or bad – that would be easy and that is what I’ve been taught is my role as parent. The other choice my partner and I try to make is to focus instead on the positive, loving, courageous and change-creating behaviors my daughters exhibit. I try to encourage those behaviors when I see them, even if they aren’t supported by those around them. If, instead, discipline is all I do, I risk diminishing their confidence in making the difficult decision to do what is right.

What are the ways in which you encourage the youth in your life? How have you successfully focused and built on supporting the positive change already occurring in your community? Please share you experiences, or thoughts.

My plans for the evening fell through last night, so I decided to grab a late dinner at a Mexican restaurant just down the street from my apartment. As I strolled past the well-lit Target on my way to the restaurant, I passed two men sitting on a bench in front of the store. “Hello Miss Ma’am,” one of them called after me. I nodded cursorily as I kept walking.

I enjoyed my dinner and set out for home again. The two men were still sitting on the same bench nearly an hour later. Immediately, I became more alert. By then, it was nearly 10:30, and though still lit, the parking lot was much emptier. I maintained my stride, hackles raised, but told myself not to be afraid of nothing.

As I approached, the same man greeted me with “hello again, you,” this time a smirk in his tone. I kept my eyes down and ignored him. He hesitated, then, as soon as my back was to him, declared “nice butt.” I froze ever so slightly, then spun around, angry now.

Angry that he felt entitled to comment on my body. Angry that I knew this was coming. Angry that he was able to make me so angry. Angry that I can’t even go to dinner in my own neighborhood unescorted by a man without feeling threatened.

His friend did not look up. He just sat there, seemingly unembarrassed by his companion’s behavior. I glared at the cat-caller and demanded to know, “what could possibly make you think that’s ok?” Even before I said it, I knew it was pointless. After a moment I realized that not only was I not going to get a response, but he was snapping pictures of me with his camera phone.

Rage washed over me as I turned away and kept walking. There was nothing I could do. I was in a public space. He was within his (legal) rights to take pictures. I couldn’t force him to respond to me. I could continue to try and instigate an argument – one that would likely end badly for me – or I could just keep walking. Either way, he gets away with it.

On the way home, I was in tears. Frustrated. Defeated. At least I had a friend to call who I knew I could count on to understand why I was so upset.

This is rape culture. When a man feels entitled to comment on a woman’s body, embarrass and intimidate her, snap pictures of her against her will – those are symptoms of the problem. But too many of us are so accustomed to it that we accept it as “typical” or “normal” male behavior. And it will continue to be as long as no one challenges it. The question is – how do we do that meaningfully, effectively and safely? I’m at a loss.

Texas advocates examined the repercussions of Arizona’s SB 1070 on victim advocacy at TAASA’s (Texas Association Against Sexual Assault) Diversity Task Force meeting in May.  Isaac Harrington, VAWA attorney with Texas Civil Rights Project, and Laura Zárate, co-founder and executive director of Arte Sana, discussed the implications of this law on victims based on their personal and professional experiences.

Advocates explored the complications for both victims and service providers through the following key points:

1. Victim rights as human rights
2. Gap of services to immigrant populations
3. Increased  isolation and fear within the immigrant populations
4. Anonymization of crime against immigrant populations
5. Concern regarding “moving, concealing, harboring aliens “– as stated in section 13-2929 of the statute
6. Action Steps for Advocates (Created by ALAS, an online group of Latina advocates from across the country)

The topic of immigration is highly political, personal and polarizing.   The need for proactive discussion is crucial and the challenge before us is clear.  Is it possible to set aside political and personal beliefs to carefully examine the impact of this type of law on victims? The essence of advocacy is to support and promote the interests of another.  Several states are considering similar measures including Texas.  Are we as advocates prepared to assert our concerns about this type of law to elected officials and the community at large? The immigration policy debate rarely considers immigrant victims of crime. During the last Diversity Task Force meeting advocates from across the state of Texas vowed to defend and advocate on behalf of those victims.  Mother Teresa once said, “Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work.”

Thanks to the passion and foresight of victim advocates, proactive discussions on this highly charged topic are alive and well in Texas.   The upcoming legislative session promises to provoke and engage all sides of the issue.  Where do you stand?

“Emancipate yourself from mental slavery; none but ourselves can free   our mind.”                                          

                                                                    “from Redemption Song”

One of my friends has a theory that a person’s view of the world is “tinted” by the colors of their eyes. And I think “What, they don’t see the same things I do?”

My children roll their eyes and say with disappointment and a touch of anger, “You are so un-American!” And I wonder where it is written that being “unAmerican” is a bad thing?

A friend’s child is marrying a person of a different ethnicity, race, and religion. She tells me she has to “have a talk” with her child. And I wonder, “What she will say?”

To make a fuss over someone’s point of view, nationality, ethnicity, race, religion or sexuality, is, to me, unproductive – the deeper questions, the potential to learn and explore the deeper issues are lost. Ḗ uma pena porque pode ser uma coisa de grande importancia o algo em nosso melho interesse que vamos peder.

And I wonder – why are we so threatened by diversity of thought?

Picture a short, slightly rotund 82-year-old lady who kept her short hair somewhat haphazardly dyed various shades of red, auburn, orange. She lived in Houston most of her life and was definitely the “city aunt” when she visited family in our small town.

Then she moved back home to live in the senior citizens’ apartments. That’s when I first met her, and we hit it off right away. With that audacious red hair instead of the requisite slightly blue-gray most women her age chose, she reminded me of my mother. Aunt Lurline seemed to enjoy her new opportunity to have close friends nearby. Senior Citizens’ Center activities kept her engaged with others, and the close-knit community of residents felt safe compared to living in Houston.

So the early morning call from my sister-in-law whispering, “Aunt Lurline said she was raped. Can you come talk to her?” felt like a bad dream. Not my family. Not in my small home town. Working in a sexual assault program for years was little preparation for hearing those words. Though part of me certainly knew that anyone, anywhere can become a victim of sexual assault, another part of me couldn’t take in what I heard.

I saw her the next day while she was still in the local hospital. She didn’t want to talk. Her face was mostly a tired stare interrupted by a few moments of forced attempts at connection. During one of those moments she told me she was scared. She thanked me for coming to see her. I told her I’d come back any time she asked and to let me know if she wanted my support in talking with the police or anyone else. I left her room feeling helpless. And angry and sad and I still don’t know how many other feelings.

I heard from family that she knew who raped her. It was another resident who also worked there as part-time handyman, someone she knew well and trusted. Our whole family knew the man. The whole community knew the man.

She told the police what happened to her. I heard they asked some questions—of Aunt Lurline and the man.

Then I heard from a couple of family members that Aunt Lurline wasn’t telling the truth, that she was just confused, imagining things, and telling this story to get attention. I was dumbfounded. For the second time I thought my work should have prepared me for this possibility. How many times had I seen family and friends not believe the person who’d been sexually assaulted?

Aunt Lurline went back to her apartment. But she never seemed like the same feisty woman I’d first met. There was a dullness, a hesitation about her. I never saw that boldly dyed hair again.

 May is Elder Abuse Prevention Month.   Abuse – neglect – exploitation.  See how far you have to search the sites included here to find information about sexual abuse. 

Or see Elderly Victims of Sexual Abuse and Their Offenders, a 2006 report from the National Institute of Justice.

Every year, more than 100,000 men, women and children are victimized while behind bars, usually by corrections officials whose very job it is to keep them safe. The U.S. Attorney General is currently reviewing national standards aimed at preventing and addressing this type of abuse.

On Monday, TAASA, along with thirty rape crisis centers, submitted comments in support of the standards.  If fully implemented, the national standards will spare countless Americans the horror of sexual abuse.

We are pleased to submit these comments and firmly believe that everyone – regardless of custody status – should be free of sexual violence.

To read TAASA’s comments letter, please click here.

Find out more about efforts to end sexual abuse in all forms of detention at Just Detention International.

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